Traveling Jokes

Traveling. What comes to your mind when you hear that word? Tour, tickets, guides, new places… what could possibly happen while traveling? Will it be disaster or rewarding? Well, whatever it is; a disaster or a reward, it can make us smile and laugh afterwards. You still don’t buy it? Just read on and be convinced!

Touring South America
A tourits is traveling through one of the thickest jungles in South America. When he comes across an ancient Mayan temple and is amazed by it. He asks the guide. “How old is this temple?�
“This temple exactly 1503 years old,� replied the guide. “How can you be so sure?� inguired the tourist? “Easy,� replied the guide, “an archaeologist came here and told me this temple was 1500 years old, and that was three years ago.�

Best in the land
A group of hikers are led through the US wilderness by a guide. On the third day, the hikers notice that they have been traveling in circles.

“We’re lost!� one of the men complaints. “I thought you said you were the best guide in United States.�

“I am,� the guide answers, “but think we may have wandered into Canada.�

Interesting Offer
While sitting in the upper deck, business class, front seat of a Cathay Pacific 747 in Taipei, the following announcement is heard over the cabin PA system:
“Ladies and gentleman, we are overbooked and are offering anyone $1.000 plus a seat, on the next flight, in exchange for their seat on this flight.� After a short pause, the offer was loudly accepted by someone in the cockpit.

The Broken-down Train
A large two-engine train is crossing America. After traveling some distance one of the engines break down. “No problem,� the engineer thinks, and carries on at half power. Farther on down the line, the other engine breaks down, and the train can’t move. The engineer decides he should inform the passengers about the reason for the stoppage, so he makes the following announcement: “Ladies and gentleman, ihave some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that both engines have failed, and we will be stuck here for some time. The good news is that you decided to take the train and not a plane.�

Mountain Tour Guide
Swiss mountain guides who always do the same trails can get tired answering the same questions over and over. One day an English tourists is giving his guide an especially hard time with silly questions. They are walking through a mountain valley that is strewn with rocks, and the traveler asks, “How did these rock get here?� “Sir,� says the guide,� they were brought down by a glacier.�
“Oh, really?� says the guide “I guess it has gone back for more rocks.�

Airline Food

A man was on flight to Hong Kong from Europe. Since the flight was going to be a very long flight, he decided to get some shuteye and sleep. Soon he was awakened by a flight attendant who asked him if he’d like to have some dinner. He said, “What are my choice?� the flight attendant says, “Yes or no.�

An Unforgettable Birthday Party
A party is ussualy something fun to remember. Mine was the opposite. The disaster accured two years ago on my 14th birthday. My parents and my friends were in the living room, celebrating my big day. I was getting ready to blow out all of the candles on the cake. Being my usual clumsy self, I put my face right above the cake before puffing with all my might. All of a sudden I had candle wax all over my face, everybody laughed. I was so embarrassed. What a birthday party!

The Bus Incident
One day I took a bus to go to my friend’s house. The bus was fairly full, so I stood at the back of the bus. While I was standing, I saw a cute girl staring at me as she moved towards me. I became a bit embarrassed, thinking she might fancy me. She stood next to me and whispered that my fly was open. I was so embarrassed, I got off the bus without even thanking the girl.

Wrong car
My cousins and I went to a shopping mall in their car. I was tired after school and was feeling a bit sick. As we were coming out of the shopping mall, I remembered that I needed a new correction pen. I told my cousins to wait for me in the car, and I went back to buy the correction pen. Coming out of the mall, I went directly to my cousin’s car and grabbed the door handle. To my surprise, I didn’t open. As I tried again, the windows suddenly slid down and a face stared at me from inside the car. It wasn’t any of my cousin’s faces. Then I heard voice shouting not far away. My cousin’s voices! Oh, my God! My face turned red. I had tried to get into the wrong car. I apalogized and hurried to my cousin’s car. They are teased me. I was so mortified…