Food Jokes

Fried Chicken, pizza, chicken noddles, French fries… Yummy! I bet your stomach starts growling when you hear the words. Before you start filling your stomach with your favorite food, here are some jokes that will brighten up your day even more. Enjoy!

Eggs

A lady goes to breakfast at a restaurant where the special was two eggs, sausage, mashed potato, and toast for $1,00. “Sounds good,” she says. “But I don’t want the eggs.” “Then I’ll have to charge you $1,30, because you’re ordering a la carte,” the waitress informs her. “You mean I would have to pay for not taking the eggs?” the lady asks disbelievingly, “Then I’ll take the special,”
“How do you want your eggs?” asks the waitress. “Raw and in the shell,” the lady replies. She takes the two eggs home.

God is Watching

The children are lined up for lunch in the cafeteria of an elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table is a large pile of apples. Previously, the principal made a note and posted it on the apple tray. “Take only one. God is watching.” At the other end of the table is a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. Arriving at the chips, one student whisper to another, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

Fat-Free Fries

I stopped at a fast food restaurant, interested by a sign which offered fat-free fries. I decided to give them a try, but I was disappointed when the clerk pulled a batch of tries from the fryer dripping with fat, and then put a bag of these fries in with my order. “Just a minute,” I said. “those aren’t fat-free.” “Yes, they are.” he replied. “We only charge for the potatoes, the fat is free.”

Homemade

Trying to became an efficient homemaker, jane has created a system for labeling homemade freezer meals. She carefully notes in large clear letters, “Meatloaf” or “Pot Roast” or “Steak and Vegetables” or “Chicken and Dumpling” or “Beef Pot Pie.” But every time she asks her husband what he wants for dinner, he never aksk for any of those meals. She decides to stock the freezer with his various requests, what he really likes.

Now in Jane’s freezer you’ll see a whole new set of labels. You will find dinners with neat little tags that say: “Whatever,” “Anything,” “I don’t know,” “I don’t care,” “Something Good,” or just “Food.” No more frustration for Jane because no matter what her husband replies when she asks him what he wants for dinner, it’s there waiting.